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These are just a few jokes I have found feel free to send me some more
Q: Why did the dumb blonde get fired from the M&M
company?
A: Because she throw away all the w's
Diet soda: A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M's
Q:What function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A:Proofreading
The Age Gap:
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk. The young man just loves peanuts.
One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man give in to temptation and scarfs down over half of the old man's peanuts.
When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to taking the peanuts.
"That's Okay", the old man replies after a moment, "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off the M&M's
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This is the champion of my most recent M&M duel
I don't condone the consumption of my friends as a recreational snack, however I do ask that you do not consume them without giving thourough thought to what it is you are partaking of. |
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Try the M&M challenge!
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the"loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
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Why M&M's are Wiccan
MM = Merry Meet
Round shape for wheel of the year, cycle of seasons
Skins are different colors, but the inside is the same chocolate, because we are all related.
Associations with the colors:
Red = South
Green = West
Dark Brown = North
Yellow = East
Orange = For the Solar God
Light Brown = For the Earth Mother (Copper Woman)
Blue = Sky Father
Rotate the M & M:
M = 13th letter of alphabet, and there are 13 witches in a coven
3 = Triple Goddess, three phases of moon
W = Witchcraft, Wiccan
E = Enlightenment, Enchantment of chocolate
"Melt in your mouth, not in your hand"--God/dess's love must be experienced directly to appreciate. Also, God/dess will take care of you.
Sweetness to remind us of how sweet the love of the God and Goddess is!
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A Smile A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
Spread the joy, smile at someone today! |
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